Whisteling

A lot of nights, Jeremiah and I fall asleep talking over the silly things the boys have done that day, or repeating our favorite things Brayden says until we are giggling so loud we risk waking them. Last night, we were talking about how much Brayden loves Gwizzwy. But Gwizzwy never comes to him when he calls (Come on Gwizzwy, come on!). Then Brayden asks Jeremiah or I to call him, and we whistle for Griz. Then Brayden says “whoooooo!” “whoooooo!” It’s how he whistles. It is so cute!

A learning experience

Yesterday I learned a really crappy lesson.

Brayden, who is 26 months old, has mastered his undies and the potty chair with one exception. Poopy. But he tries hard. And he tells us he has to go a lot; but he never really goes (it's been less than a week of undies) on the potty. So that morning, he told me he had to go. I said "Okay buddy, go sit on the potty!" and I ran downstairs. I didn't notice the earnest little look on his face, or that he was clutching his little hiney. By the time I got back upstairs, Jeremiah was in the bathroom with him, cleaning up his little pants. He didn't make it. And he really, really did have to go this time.

I had been wracked with mommy guilt all day. It had been choking me actually. Because he had some succes the night before. And I think I ruined it.

After lunch, I talked with another mom who I really think highly of.
She told me that we all make mistakes.
She told me that they are really open with their teenager and very transparent about the mistakes that they make. By doing that, they are teaching her to have grace for herself and towards others, including her parents.


That is more than a lesson in potty training, I guess. As hard as it is, I think I am going to try to be very transparent with my kids too. It won't cure my mommy guilt. But I think it will help. And they will know that I tried hard, too.

Here are some other things that have happened over the last month:

Jack started cereal.

He reached the 16 pound mark.

He also loves his Jumparoo.

I didn't think we would ever have a baby happier than Brayden. I think Jack though, is the happiest baby in the world. In spite of his second ear infection this month. And all three of us spoiling him relentlessly. We love to listen to him laugh, to talk, and most of all, to watch his facial expressions. Especially when he just raises on eyebrow at a time.

Peanut is pretty frustrated with him though. She hates sharing blankets...you can see her paw just resting on the blankie above. Because I must have kicked her and her cat litter box paws off fifteen times during the day.

Brayden is in the process of being tested for C-Diff. Eww.

Maybe that is why he has been such a challenge lately. Or is that because he is 2? Poor buddy. My poor, poor little buddy. :(

3 month birthday.

Jack was admitted to Childrens Hospital on Tuesday. His RSV was getting the best of him.

His little arms are full of bruises from so many IV attempts and he had to spend the entire time we were there with his sucking thum tapped down to the IV board. We spent two nights and a 3 month birthday under the watchful care of Nurse Arla, Nurse Andie, Nurse Joan and Nurse Michelle. They suctioned and counted breathes and suctioned and suctioned and suctioned and suctioned. They readied the oxygen and suctioned. We measured diapers to see how much he was (n't) eating and suctioned and suctioned to help him breath.

He slept through the night last night withought any suctioning, and this morning, the mucus went down enough that the doc thought we could handle it on our own again. Jeremiah picked up Brayden and took him through the ER for anitbiotics to treat the things that are wrong with him and we are back home again. A little bit nervous to be on our own, but home again anyway.

A busy week.

Sorry for the lack of pictures. It has been a little hectic around here lately.

Jack doesn't always wear his hat in the house anymore.

Actually, he rarely wears it in the house anymore.

But because he has RSV, my little coughing punkin' pie has to have his hat on.

He's still happy happy though.

Brayden also has RSV.

And Bronchiopnemonia.

And Tonsilitis.

Yes it was my first week back at work, why do you ask?

In other news, Brayden loves to take a shower.

He loves it so much, he even undresses most of his little self.

He just struggles a little with his pants and diaper.

:)

Roots and Wings

When I was little, I was a very shy person. I was more than Brayden shy and slow to warm up. I could be loud and raucous and fight like a holy terror, but away from my family, the shyness could be distressing and even agonizing. I will never forget sitting on the stairs of the split entry house my that my parents built the year after I was born and listening to my mom tell me that if I didn't start talking, I wouldn't pass first grade.

I never wanted to leave home, to grow up or for anything to change. I grew up in a place where my Grandpa built blocks worth of houses with his brothers and remembered our town as it grew up. I grew up in a place where my mom spent her growing years less than a mile from my dad. Her teachers were my teachers and my dads siblings came home to teach in some of the same schools. My parents grew up with my friends parents and we could find common genes in a far reaching bit of my classmates; my little sister and brother shared many of the same friends and my older sisters friends showed me kindness that my shyness made difficult to recognize.

Then something happened and I grew wings that couldn't wait to beat, couldn't wait to work, couldn't wait to fly. My roots were firmly established in our little town, but I needed to break away from the place that only knew me as quiet and held me boxed in; the place that I never wanted to change. If I wanted to change, I had to part from it. I went to college, to Europe and traveled across the country; lived in the north and the west and married a man from the south.

Occasionally that old shy-ness still comes up, prickling my feet with doubts, dusting my memory with a want for nothing to change, for that same security that I wanted never to leave. Looking back I can't say that I ever missed an opportunity that was important to me, but I laugh at the struggles a shy person wrestles with; the perceptions and impressions, the jumbles and the bumbles.

To provide roots for our family we have come closer to home than I have settled in a long time; close to the box that I wanted never to change. When my oldest son asks if we can stay home today, I fight all of the little shy homebody in me for him. I fight all of the urge to wrap myself up in my little families laugh, in my concern for the colds that make noses run and coughs unbearable. I fight the urge to steal the cover of the fog and not let anyone know we are staying under the covers today where nothing has to change and no one has to be social so that school is easier one day. I put Jack's little hat on while he smiles at me and tuck him into his car seat and hand him over to his dad, fighting the quite days that I still have sometimes when I leave the house; the days where I don't say more than three words all day. And I reward myself and my oldest with staying home tomorrow.

And we can snuggle on the couch while Sesame is on, read books in silly voices, smell little baby smells, dance silly dances and be as outrages as we want while we put down roots for our little boys; for our little boys who will some day grow wings.

Ugh.

I did it.

I tackled my first day back at work.

I did it even though Brayden kept asking if he could stay home or go to work with me.

I did it even though Jack laughed and smiled at me all morning.

I did it.

Just don't tell anyone we have to do it again on Wednesday.

And I may have a margarita before I go to bed on Tuesday night.

He Talks.

Our littlest member of our family is a big talker.

He wiggles and smiles and talks. He tells stories that are so funny he laughs at them and spills a little bit of drool. He coos and goos and ahs and has combinations of the three.

He makes us laugh too. Especially when he gets so carried away that he almost flings himself out of his bouncy chair!